this is a test coz of fucken new blogger

yeh i kno its been like ages. year ten sucks so bad. but im gonna try and do a monthly update on the 13th of every month, not counting now. or around that date anyway, like depending on how i can get acses to a computer or not and stuff.

harleys saying how he wants to change schools which sucks. and alyson wanted to go vegan but her parents wouldnt let her. she was really bummed about it and says shes gonna still try and do it in secret. heres a poem i wrote about that.

oh yeh but before i put the poem on, every month i think ill put up the best poem i wrote. sometimes i only write one poem in a month other times i write like five or twelve or something it depends on what speaks to me.


the enforcers

they tell you what to do
they tell you where to go
they tell you how to act
but do they really even know?

they tell you not to smoke
they tell you not to drink
they tell you not to do drugs
and try to tell you how to think

like a flower you grow
they keep you in their greenhouse
but theres no need for the gardeners
to keep heaping fertilizer upon your house

whatever you do
whatever you say
however you act
its not good enough for they

but your still like that flower
trapped in they're nest
and yet all we hear
is 'father knows best'.

yeah im pretty proud of it, i think im gonna submit it for the english prize in a few weeks. alyson wrote it out in red pen in her diary. i put the first copy (after i wrote it out agin) on my wall.

well my birthday and new years sucked as usual. but im 16 now so i guess thats cool.

i dont know if i told you but my bithdays on dec 25. mum always makes me a birthday cake to have with christmas lunch and then everyone complains about how singing happy birthday isnt christmassy. like i can help when i was born. like i can help anything.

but it got me thinking abuot jesus and stuff. like, im not sure if i beleve in god or not but jesus probably existed. and he would have gone through the same stuff because alyson told me that theres a pagan festival that used to be celebrated on his birthday, like, before he was famous.

i started thinking about other paralels with me and jesus, and i wrote this poem on christmas night, because i didn't get a ipod or a wii:



one born in a stable
one born unstable

the mangers animals looking over one
the sheep of sosciety looking over t'other

both escewed from the community
for being different

both hated and revelied
for being different

but both still authentic
dont want to conform

his water into wine
is my art

my real father is the lord, he said
but i also have a stepdad on earth

keith is no joseph
a truck driver not a carpenter

and my real dad
like god
doesn't
care
about
us.

oh my god what a fucken cop out.

my birthday is on christmas day, yeah i know it sucks. i dont know if i told you but mum used to tell me that i was the best birthday present she ever got but then afew years ago she got a juicer so she doesn't say that anymore.

so anyway every year they want to combine my birthday present and christmas presentso i get somethign a little bit bigger than my brothers presents. but it still doesnt add up to two different sets of presents. it fucken sucks theres nothing worse. birthdays fucken suck.

so this year ill be 16, big woop. i just cant wait until im 18, then ill be happy. ill be able to vote and buy smokes and go to overage concerts and legally drink and stuff. at least when i turn 16 i can get my liscence. that'll be good.

schools finishing up so thats good. yesterday was the last day so afterwards alyson and harley and me went to greensborough plaza to hang out. we went to planet 13, since thats like the best shop in the world, maybe even better than dangerfield.

i wanted to have harley and alyson over for my birthday, but their parents said they had family stuff all day and then my stepdad said well why don't you just celarbrate your bday a month later and i said 'um, im SORRY, was i BORN on the 25 of January? NO I WASNT, why do you want me to live a lie?!' he just doesnt et how important it is to be authentic.

i took the day off today because i said i was sick. but i just couldnt handel it today, you know? like a mental health break.

so i went to harleys coz he said he was sick too. hes just going to check if his parents have any open bottles in there bar so we can bottleskim. it's a really good way of getting drunk: like what you do, is fill a mt franklin bottle with little bits of every opened bottle. it makes a pretty powerful concosion.

so we're gonna get drunk and watch his dads old video of bargarse and LAUGH OUR ASSES OFF. then maybe go to pizza hut for all you can eat. but ive gotta be home at three to play it safe because my stepdad comes home at around 3.30 4, coz he goes to work at like, 5.

they have some vegetarian stuff at pizza hut so its ok. and lots of deserts. but if they dont have vegetarian pizza availible at the all you can eat bit then you can ask for it and they HAVE to supply it coz otherwise its descrimination and you can get a free meal voucher! it happened to alyson's cousin whos in year 12 and trying to get into law, shes really really intellegent.

anyway i gotta go coz harleys back and he has about three quaters of a water bottle full of this dark red kinda mix. it looks pretty cool. its gonna be a fun day i guess.

well im back at school again. everythings the same except alyson got her hair cut and its kind of short but she got paroxcide on one side and black on the other and it looked awesome but then the principal saw and the year 9 cordinater had a talk with her and now she needs to dye it back.

but the joke's on her, because alyson's mum already said she could only have it for like one day of school and then she'd have to dye it back to regular colour anyway, that was the deal when she did it, so HAH.

this is just another case of repression, but it doesn't matter coz this term is the last one and then theres a bog holiday, and everyday brings us closer to the end of school and repression and rules. i cant wait for uni.

break the mold

everyone the same, so you try to change
change brings demands for you to be the same
the same brings boredom
depression
the machine of school tries to churn out clones
one by
one by
one by
one.
and any spark of creativity
any spark of difference
individuality
is squashed under the heel
of the foreman
of the factory
of highschool.
It'll be all over one day
and we can finally break the mold.

i gave this poem to alyson and she said she liked it, because its excactly the type of thing shes feeling

school holidays sux. theres like nothing to do. my stepdad said we should go to the show as a family and i said THATS SO LAME and he said but you like animals, they have some there you can see and i said yeah but there in cages and its cruel. and then i tried to make him feel guilty by saying we cant go as a family because my looser sister isnt here (shes in queensland, she went to live with our grandmother but now i think shes by herself or living at her friend tanyas house. i dunno. mum talks to her a bit but i hardly ever do)

so anyway. sunny day real estate is pretty much my favorite band at the moment. and i love the name, too, its so ironicly full of hope yet, like, consumerism and stuff.

anyway heres a poem i wrote for school holidays. it only took me like an hour but im pretty proud of it. i dont know.


THE FOUR WALLS OF MY BOREDOM
wall one is fatige
so tired yet all i do is sleep
the dreams come, all gray
like the ashes in my heart.

wall two is containment
i am a prisoner here
unable to go out and be free
the entrapment of youth.

wall three is sosiety
one that has no freedom
no creative acceptance
no room for anyone different.

wall four is the everyday
because its like this
everyday.