school holidays rules. even when theres like nothing to do and its kind of boring its better than school.

5 bad things about holidays
1. theres nothing good on tv
2. you can't really do much coz you dont have a liscence or id
3. when you hang out at the plaza sometimes there are jock dicks there going to the movies
4. when you dont have the internet at home it gets a bit boring
5. homework

5 bad things about school
1. asshole jocks!!!!
2. asshole teachers who want to stiffle your creativity and make you just another sheep in the heard
3. homework
4. getting up early!!!
5. just having to do the same thing every day

so yeah having said that, id much rather holidays.

my step dad is such an asshole. he's never even LIKED soccer before but now he's all obsessed and always hogs the tv it sucks. i wish i had a tv in my brother and my room, because then we could have our own space and stuff.

l'haine

hate like a cancer
contagious, growing
the internet a web like a spider weaves
negativity is trapped in it and grows
like a cancer
a tumour of anger
the masks people hide behind
as they pass judgment upon others
it doesnt hide their patheticness
it doesnt hide their emptyiness
their hate is just a reflection of a god they never knew
a reflection of pieces of them self
meanwhile the cancer grows
more people become enfected
and it
just
keeps
growing.


I tried to space it out so it was a visual poem and it looked like a web, but it didn't work.
(the title is french for hate. i learned it when i did french last year)

there is so much hate out there.

like here i am with a blog. everyone has one (well heeps of people do anyway). i write on it to vent about my stepdad, teachers and other shit. i do it and it makes me feel better. i write poetry and show it here coz its deeply personnel and i dont want to show anyone i know irl.

i dont solicitate coments, i dont go on other peoples sites and whore my blog out, so i dont know how people find me. its just, like, my own corner of the internet for me to sit and think about things.

but then i get these annonymous cowards spinning the same, pridictable shit ive already heard a million times. oooh, bullying a 15 year old guy, how fucking mature. and hiding behind an anonymous name, even better. cocks.

and i love how they constantly misinterpret me, to. like this one guy was all sherlock because 'oooh, tanyawah's in brisbane, and you're in melbourne! i call bullshit!' well, looser, if you read one of my first posts, youd know that my sister moved up to qld a little bit after keith moved in, coz he's a fucking dick. keith is my step dad, not my real dad.

and yeah, i cry to songs i find beautiful. so im in touch with my emotions and i have a heightened sence of beauty. kill me.

im such a fag because im not a cookie cutter jock. well, if i could be a fag that still makes out with girls then id be a fag, haha!

so in conclution, i have no interest in annonymous coments that spout random hate (or bullshit, the guy who was all 'haha your mums poor' well, its not like i can help that so i have to just deal. but bullshit that your rich and light cigars with money. and you still have the time to dish on a highschool poet? ahahah as if).

before you write an annonymous comnet on a blog, trying to really hurt someone, you should take a look at yourself and ask why that is.

remember how i said my mum was going to let me go to a concert? me alyson and harley have been talking and we think we'll go to hawthorne heights. i think there pretty much my fave band at the moment and i know it will be good, and theres a under 18 one, so yeah.

here are the lyrics to my favourite HH song at the moment.


"Pens And Needles"

I miss you most on winter mornings
as we drift we slip through evenings, whoa-oh
we drive into the cold and dark with fingers crossed
I follow your eyes to avoid from getting lost

And all I had was the memory of what was
so let's pretend it never mattered to us
I hope this message finds you well
Never thought I'd live to tell

Just to survive we do what we can
we read the maps and signs, and we make the plans
by our design I write it down to get me by
the worst time in my life

And all I had was the memory of what was
so let's pretend it never mattered to us
I hope this message finds you well
Never thought I'd live to tell
what's a dream and what is real,
the way I really feel

I hope this message finds you well
I never thought I'd live to tell
what's a dream and what is real?
So let's pretend this is the ending
(So let's pretend...[echo]) (this is the ending...[echo])
to the message I've been sending, sending
(to the message...[echo]) (I've been sending...[echo])

And all I had was the memory of what was
so let's pretend it never mattered to us
I hope this message finds you well
Never thought I'd live to tell
what's a dream and what is real,
the way I really feel

I hope this message finds you well
Never thought I'd live to tell
what's a dream and what is real,
the way I really feel




it just makes me feel so much, you know? i wish i was in a band like that.

the first time i listened to the album it was so beutiful i just started crying. and i thought i was home alone so i was in the lounge room on the big stereo. but i didn't hear my stepdad come in. he asked what was wrong and i turned away and said 'nothng' because he just wouldn't understand, you know? then he muttered under his breath something about becoming a man before they eat me alive in the real world. what the fuck ever just beacuse im in touch with my emotions? anyway its not like im going to end up being a tradie like a big tough plumber or anything. im going to go to uni. my cousin says they appretiate intellect there.